We've all looked up the zodiac sign of our crushes and potential lovers, eager to know if we're soulmates or bound to butt heads. Popular astrology reduces compatibly to dynamics between sun signs, which is essentially comparing the agreeability of two egos. We are much more than the person who exists in the light of day. Who are we when the sun exits the stage?

Sun-sign compatibility is fitting for deciphering surface-level unity, but overall it's a limited perspective. This is why experienced astrologers practice synastry, the analysis between two or more people's birth charts. It can be used in romantic contexts as well as familial, business, and plutonic.

Synastry is as complex as relationships; it's layered, contradicting, revealing, and intimate. Covering every nuance, however, would be time-consuming and lengthy. I'm going to focus on the planets Venus and Mars in the context of partner synastry.

When researching for this post, I found a lot of cis-heteronormative images and text about how women are from Venus and men are from Mars. Which like....ew. Those speculations are rooted in the gender binary which then inform astrology's interpretations of 'masculine' and 'feminine.' I am skeptical about accepting these descriptors for planet energies, as I feel it lacks analysis of the heteronormative institutions that shape these belief systems.

Keep in mind that my use pronouns in introducing the energies of Venus and Mars are not literal because the planets do not concern themselves with labels of categorization. Instead of ascribing blindly to archetypal stereotypes, my writing will embody the genderfuck of Trace Peterson's poem Exclusively on Venus:

Venus is never more than 47.8° away from the sun. As the second closet planet to the Sun and the closest planet to Earth, I like to think of Venus as a balance between the two. It's fueled by the vitality and passionate creativity of the Sun while remaining grounded by the sensuality of the Earth. Venus is the second brightest planet in the sky and I believe it's visibility and proximity is what captures our attention on Earth.

Ironically, the planet's surface is indecipherable by a layer of sulphuric acid clouds. This is what makes Venus so present yet elusive. She's the intrigue of a figure behind a shrouded screen, the poetry you write in dreams. An inspiring yet mysterious energy.

Venus is the planet of love, creativity, money, and partnerships. It rules over Taurus and Libra, is exalted in Pisces, and struggles in Virgo. The planet is associated with copper, which is often used as a conductor of heat and electricity. It's a metal used to bind other metals together, such as gold and silver, and in fact prefers to be alloyed with another. Venus brings peace, harmony, and grace to any kind of collaboration. It's insistence on interdependency and cooperation is what fuels romantic, familial, and plutonic unions.

Venus' orbit differs from the sun, which means she pursues a path that opposes her peers. It reminds me of the conflict that erupts when an individual follows their mind without regards to their heart. When Venus' path is viewed as impractical or 'going against the grain,' life is colorless and dull. Like copper, when there is no source of electricity, it loses it's current. When there is nothing to light the flame of our passions, such as love or beauty, we can lose our sense of purpose.

When unbalanced, Venus can be jealous, hyper-materialistic, indulgent, or codependent. Depending on how Venus aspects your other planets, her influence can either cause harmonious ease or problematic friction. Either way, Venus acts like a magnet so be receptive to the people, objects, or dynamics that come your way.



Venus conjunct Mars

Conjunctions occur when your Venus and your partner's Mars are at a 0-10° angle. This usually signifies an instant connection, where you feel your partner's motivations, desires, and interests match your own. It's an aspect that sparks kinship and closeness that formulates rather quickly. Have you ever met someone you feel you've known for a long time? This is the feeling Venus conjunct Mars inspires; as if you and your partner are two trees with entwined roots, different entities connected by the same thing.

Because this aspect is sexually magnetizing and romantically intense, it is favorable for short-lived unions. Logistics and other dynamics of relationships can cause friction in long-term relationships, such as bickering, because the intensity of this aspect is converted to other channels. When visualizing this conflict, I image two Virgos nit-picking the proper way to arrange the spice rack. While the conjunct guarantees love and passion on the same wavelength, it's important to consider where the power of this connection is channelled.

Venus sextile Mars

A sextile occurs when your Venus and your partner's Mars are at a 60° angle. Whereas the positive and easygoing qualities of Venus trine Mars is very evident, Venus sextile Mars take some work to manifest. Sextiles are positive and easy aspects, as both partners have an intuitive understanding of one another's desires. But this connection isn't always the most obvious. Unlike the burning passion of other aspects, a sextile is a slow-developing love and appreciation but one that endures. It's a tender, playful, and ultimately rewarding union.

This dynamic is exemplified by Dana and Alice's friendship turned romantic relationship in the L Word (yes, I realize this show is problematic but it's too gay to turn my eyes away). Despite their eventual breakup, they never really got over their love for one another and this is the symbolic energy of Venus sextile Mars.

Venus square Mars

A square occurs when your Venus and your partner's Mars are at a 90° angle. This is the classic 'I hate that I love you' relationship dynamic. It's an uncomfortable but alluring aspect, as we are confused why we're attracted to someone whose motivations baffle us. Unlike the opposition aspect where two people feel they're opposites attracting, a square indicates two energies that don't like each other at all. Often times, one person (usually Mars but sometimes Venus) pursues the other individual like an animal pouncing on prey. There's a primal and competitive quality to this dynamic which can create polarizing reactions, depending on a person's disposition.

It can be an exciting aspect, like the feeling of riding a motorcycle on a city street. You know you shouldn't, but the thrill feels so good! But taken too far, it can be destructive. A perfect example of this is Ron Swanson's relationship with his ex-wife Tammy (the librarian, not the schoolteacher) in the show Parks and Recreation. Their hateful bantering quickly switches into ferociously making out on a table. While this relationship is clearly toxic, it demonstrates the instantaneous flip-flop that couples with this aspect can experience. As long as both individuals are aware of this friction and willing to communicate their feelings, overcoming the negative qualities of this aspect can be very gratifying.

Venus trine Mars

A trine occurs when your Venus and your partner's Mars are at a 120° angle. Trines are symbolized by triangles which is why this aspect is very stabilizing in long-term relationships. A trine encourages creativity, support, and inspires warm and fuzzy feelings. They usually occur when planets are in the same element, which creates an underlying feeling that you and your partners needs and desires are harmonious.

Because of this aspect's cooperative spirit, these unions face little inhibition or conflict in expressing themselves. There is an even and equal consideration of both people, and a desire to support and uplift one another. While this doesn't always indicate an intense sexual/romantic spark like a conjunct or square, the couple's willingness to meet the needs of each other makes their love life deeply satisfying.

Venus opposition Mars

An opposition occurs when your Venus and your partner's Mars are at a 180° angle. While this is a powerful attraction, it's one that can be potentially frustrating because both partners have different methods of expressing love. For example, a Cancer Venus loves to give their Capricorn Mars partner lots of affection while the Capricorn Mars prefers acts of service. Both are allowed their respected differences, but they also need to learn to communicate in each other's love languages in order for the union to succeed.

There's a spark to this dynamic represented by the yin yang, complimentary opposites. This aspect demands creativity and patience, as both partners will subconsciously try to convert the other into seeing their idea of love as superior. The lesson of opposition is not to be in competition, but rather to recognize how each difference contains similarities that have manifested in opposing ways.

In conclusion, these major Venus-Mars aspects can explain why you're sexually and romantically attracted to someone, but it doesn't always show how or in what capacity it manifests in. Explore how other planets impact you and your partners to get a bigger picture of a relationship dynamic.